I consider myself open minded. I am liberal with most stuff. Some of my views are conservative but I try very hard to not shove that down someones throat.
When I first met Chad,my husband 14 years ago one thing that I fell in love with him was his non judgment of anyone. Race, weight, politics, all that. I can say honestly that is still one thing about him that makes my heart flutter. Its a trait I have a trait he has and one I sure wish we as a nation had. But we dont and behind close doors folks it sure shows.
Now before I get going I wont lie, I am bold and blunt but first to admit I am uper sensitve and take things too personal. But this stuff bugs me bad and it does Chad too even though he is less vocal about it.
When is a joke or an innocent comment taken too far? I mean I hear it daily, mostly about black people and I am sorry it offends me. My sister in law is bi racial my nieces are bi racial and my best friend who is like family to me is married to a black man and they have 3 bi racial beautiful children. I love them very much and when I am around that and hear innocent jokes I get defensive and I want to remove myself from the situation. It bothers Chad too and I am the more vocal one so I get my daggers out and want to say listen thats not funny.
Is it innocent? I mean really would this people make the same comments if a black person was in the room. I truly think not. I love this comment, oh I am not racist, then you are with them and boom the N word is said and its the funniest thing ever to them. I truly think no one should speak that word. But sorry as white people that word is racist, so in my mind when you say it in a joke or not, you are in that category. I dont dig that and wont choose to be around that. I know we are in 2012 and its freedom of speech but hatred infruiates me.
My feelings about these jokes just dont stop at the color of someones skin. I dont like the gay jokes, the fat jokes, the mentally challenged jokes,they are just not funny. It hurts, and its stupid. I see it more daily and I dont know why people feel they can just say it behind closed doors. Like as long as you are behind your closed doors its ok. No its not, that just makes you a coward. I love closet haters the best. They go to church, live what seems this perfect life. But behind close doors they wear their wives panties eat poop and talk about all of society that isnt ideal to them.
It is what it is, I know that but it hurts me and I sure wish one day it would go away. But I am not dumb its only going to get worse. Its sad, what these closet haters just might pass down to their kids if they have them.
As I write this blog I am taken back a few years ago at therapy. Chad and I are in there and my therapist asks both of us to name one trait we love about each other. Chad said the way Lisa has sympathy for all people and events even if they do bad. I said the way Chad doesnt judge anyone. I can openly say that 3 years later that is our same answer. I dont know how anyone can be ok with thinking speaking etc. that way , but knowing me, my husband and my son Tyler dont do that is all I need to know.
Too bad thats 3 out of a zillion.
February 7, 2012
January 10, 2012
NEW YEARS IRRITATIONS
Well I am not sure about you guys but this diva is fucking glad that 2011 and the holidays are over. The happiest time of our lives, yeah right. If your name is Nick and Mariah or Jay-z and Beyonce it is. Not for us middle class paycheck to paycheck living dudes and bitches. It sucks its stressful and when you dont have plastic to use to pay for stuff its downright maniac with stress about money.
So I welcome 2012. But as with any new year are all the white people I call them resolutions. The ones where you want to punch the person in the face that is saying it. So since sarcasm is my middle name here are some of Divas New Years irritation.
1. Yep you guessed it the I need to lose weight one. Ok so broads you always do this from June to September fixate on it freak out about it and think only being skinny= pretty. Then September hits and you all put your fat pants on strapped on your feed bag and a added one for alcohol and hence you were pretty again. You had friends sex dates men and all was good. All this while wearing ss and ponies. Ok here comes Jan 1st you wake up, go pee and say WTF my life is miserable, damn it if only i wasnt fat. So the feed bag comes off the alky bag put away for 6 months and its back to all the fucking irritating my life is terrible because I weight 129.0 talk. Yep go ahead ladies get your starve on, my fine fat ass is going eat and enjoy life. Life is too short, eat dessert and shut the fuck up. Fine you think your life will change thats great but I promise you I and a few others dont want to hear you talk about it 24-7. Half of you will be searcing the trash at 1201 jan31 for your fucking feed bag anywoo so fail on assholes.
2. Tax Time for peeps with kids- Yes I get it, you used your vagina as a atm and I get it you are going to get back 1.2 million dollars. Fine great well I didnt choose to populate the earth and have 100 small booger eating screaming kids so shut the fuck up. I pay for all the non working moms too so why doesnt my ass get back that much. My husband works his ass off weekly and he doesnt get that much back. Newsflash having kids doesnt give you any special treatment. You are no better than me. You shouldnt get to live off the state, get more money than me each year and for fucks sake I cannot stand woman who use their kids to get out of work. YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE KIDS, DEAL WITH IT. They are pricey DEAL WITH IT. JUST DEAL WITH IT OR STOP PRODUCING.
3. Unhealthy minds-Each new year everyone tries to think they know it all and shove their thoughts down your throat. I have been in therapy now for 7 years and each year I get a tad more mind healthy. So I really wish these fake asses would shut their faces. I mean I get asked the most just rudest stuff. I dont get it, what gives you the right to ask me such stuff. I will tell you if I want and if not then I probably didnt want your ass to know. Half of the time people only want to know for they can get a big old size woody knowing my life drama when their life sucks. This world gets off on drama and anytime people can see a confident content person and break them down they have a silent orgasm I swear.
Trust me I could go on for days just bitching about who what and where pisses me off but this diva is going go sit her ass down and watch some diva.
Peace out and just think this, WTF will diva say next. As Bam Margera says, WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TOO.
TILL NEXT BITCHES, GO EAT SOME RICE CAKES, CHANGE A DIAPER AND TELL SOMEONE HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIFE. YOU ARE GOOD AT THAT.
So I welcome 2012. But as with any new year are all the white people I call them resolutions. The ones where you want to punch the person in the face that is saying it. So since sarcasm is my middle name here are some of Divas New Years irritation.
1. Yep you guessed it the I need to lose weight one. Ok so broads you always do this from June to September fixate on it freak out about it and think only being skinny= pretty. Then September hits and you all put your fat pants on strapped on your feed bag and a added one for alcohol and hence you were pretty again. You had friends sex dates men and all was good. All this while wearing ss and ponies. Ok here comes Jan 1st you wake up, go pee and say WTF my life is miserable, damn it if only i wasnt fat. So the feed bag comes off the alky bag put away for 6 months and its back to all the fucking irritating my life is terrible because I weight 129.0 talk. Yep go ahead ladies get your starve on, my fine fat ass is going eat and enjoy life. Life is too short, eat dessert and shut the fuck up. Fine you think your life will change thats great but I promise you I and a few others dont want to hear you talk about it 24-7. Half of you will be searcing the trash at 1201 jan31 for your fucking feed bag anywoo so fail on assholes.
2. Tax Time for peeps with kids- Yes I get it, you used your vagina as a atm and I get it you are going to get back 1.2 million dollars. Fine great well I didnt choose to populate the earth and have 100 small booger eating screaming kids so shut the fuck up. I pay for all the non working moms too so why doesnt my ass get back that much. My husband works his ass off weekly and he doesnt get that much back. Newsflash having kids doesnt give you any special treatment. You are no better than me. You shouldnt get to live off the state, get more money than me each year and for fucks sake I cannot stand woman who use their kids to get out of work. YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE KIDS, DEAL WITH IT. They are pricey DEAL WITH IT. JUST DEAL WITH IT OR STOP PRODUCING.
3. Unhealthy minds-Each new year everyone tries to think they know it all and shove their thoughts down your throat. I have been in therapy now for 7 years and each year I get a tad more mind healthy. So I really wish these fake asses would shut their faces. I mean I get asked the most just rudest stuff. I dont get it, what gives you the right to ask me such stuff. I will tell you if I want and if not then I probably didnt want your ass to know. Half of the time people only want to know for they can get a big old size woody knowing my life drama when their life sucks. This world gets off on drama and anytime people can see a confident content person and break them down they have a silent orgasm I swear.
Trust me I could go on for days just bitching about who what and where pisses me off but this diva is going go sit her ass down and watch some diva.
Peace out and just think this, WTF will diva say next. As Bam Margera says, WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TOO.
TILL NEXT BITCHES, GO EAT SOME RICE CAKES, CHANGE A DIAPER AND TELL SOMEONE HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIFE. YOU ARE GOOD AT THAT.
December 3, 2011
Weiney Winterland
My ass along with most of Omaha Nebraska has lived here since birth. Let me tell you a few things about the state and city we all live in, K? I personally think its a decent place to live and a good place to raise a family.But its boring. Places close early and omg on a Sunday night at 8pm its a fucking ghost town. Another thing that it is known for is ice snow and cold. It does it each year and it can last from November and go all the way to March at times. My birhtday is March 28th and one year there was a full fledged blizzard. It happens its winter, and if you look winter up it will use one word to describe it: SUCKS
So please someone tell me while people freak the egg nog out when it happens. I mean even the weather people freak out. The way they talk and get everyone all worked up is stupid. I think the weathermen get hard ons about it. Two days before this storm we are having now panic set it. I heard have you built your shelter yet? I also heard better stock up on canned goods and bunker down cuz the end is coming. It annoys me and I swear I get super duper angry about it. Deal with it you pussies it snows. That is not call for staying in and eating canned beans, closing down hy vees at 6pm and definitely not calling in for work. My fat ass for 1 year straight rode happy ass mat bus and bitches you better beleive I even took it in the snow. My fine diva ass one time was walking in snow that was up to my knees. Ok, so shut your holes. OH and for those of you I will say this I dont drive, but I am still out in this and its never as bad as people will say. I love it when I hear omg cars the size the size of the ones in the transformers movies are going off the roads and into ditches. No they are not, shut up....
Men who act like that really piss me off. You have a weiner and a big pair of hairy ass balls dont you dare be a pussy. Dont you dare utter the words, OMG the roads are bad. Now you can think it but once those words have escaped your lips, balls are gone and congrats you have big old pink pussy lips now ass holes. If I was married to a man that was openly fearful I would call a divorce lawyer and put pussy as the reason we were splitting.
Ladies and gents this is going be a long winter for his very awesome diva because I have joined the land of face book and I swear I see OMG the roads are terrible cancel work food and all fun actities. Then C and I will go out in it and the roads are fine...
In closing my ass would like to do a shout out to all the pussies amongst us, hey oscar meyer weiner called, they just made your dick into next weeks special sale assholes.
So please someone tell me while people freak the egg nog out when it happens. I mean even the weather people freak out. The way they talk and get everyone all worked up is stupid. I think the weathermen get hard ons about it. Two days before this storm we are having now panic set it. I heard have you built your shelter yet? I also heard better stock up on canned goods and bunker down cuz the end is coming. It annoys me and I swear I get super duper angry about it. Deal with it you pussies it snows. That is not call for staying in and eating canned beans, closing down hy vees at 6pm and definitely not calling in for work. My fat ass for 1 year straight rode happy ass mat bus and bitches you better beleive I even took it in the snow. My fine diva ass one time was walking in snow that was up to my knees. Ok, so shut your holes. OH and for those of you I will say this I dont drive, but I am still out in this and its never as bad as people will say. I love it when I hear omg cars the size the size of the ones in the transformers movies are going off the roads and into ditches. No they are not, shut up....
Men who act like that really piss me off. You have a weiner and a big pair of hairy ass balls dont you dare be a pussy. Dont you dare utter the words, OMG the roads are bad. Now you can think it but once those words have escaped your lips, balls are gone and congrats you have big old pink pussy lips now ass holes. If I was married to a man that was openly fearful I would call a divorce lawyer and put pussy as the reason we were splitting.
Ladies and gents this is going be a long winter for his very awesome diva because I have joined the land of face book and I swear I see OMG the roads are terrible cancel work food and all fun actities. Then C and I will go out in it and the roads are fine...
In closing my ass would like to do a shout out to all the pussies amongst us, hey oscar meyer weiner called, they just made your dick into next weeks special sale assholes.
November 8, 2011
Dear Society, Its Me Jaded Diva
Well well and more well. Sure been a log time since my sarcastic fine ass has blogged. Well bitches its your lucky day because I beleive gus is coming and I am having that kind of day. As I have said all along I cannot stand the human race most days. We are mean selfish and judemental. I swear as so much as pee a little in my panties and I swear a intervention is staged and judgment is passed.
I post on facebook my feelings and I swear the moment I hit publish the pope calls me and is like whats wrong. Society ,I want to scream....
So tonight is all about statements and questions that tick my ass the fuck off. Dont ask me to eleborate on here. You guys might have took over my freedom of crazy on fb but you wont on my blog. I mean it...
So sit back and listen to the things I despise and have the big bull balls to say while you just think it.....
1. Weather Panic
Dear Society,
If you live in Nebraka,Iowa,Colorado need I go on it FUCKING SNOWS AND SNOWS ALOT. No need to canel school, close early or miss work. I dont give a rats hairy ass if I dont drive, I still have am in a car and have to get their just like your high and mighty asses. No need to go to the store and bunker down just because Jim the fuck pussy flowers said it was going to snow. Also dont clog fb with panic that is not true. I love the ones where Chad and I are out in our Flinstone car and the world is like OMG I am stuck in my house, lord Jesus the end is near. Also if you are a guy and freak out , make sure your dick hasnt vanished and grow another one real quick.
2. Weight Talk
Dear Woman of Society,
Yes I know its ok for sloppy ponys, sweatshirts and desperate housewive attire at all times but being fat is against your religion. SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT OMG I gained 5 pounds and ate a mm I found on the floor I feel like shit and my clothes dont fit. I am fat and I love to eat. I dont want to listen to you whine one day that you are on a diet just to watch you eat a small child and drink a 6 pack the other day. I dont care how many calories cheese fries have and I would rather be fat than ever drink diet ande yes ladies I know I know, you like it better blah blah. This is my favorite weight talk of all time : I wear DH attire because at birth I weighed 8 pounds and now I am sad to say I weigh 100 at the age of 30. SHUT UP
3. Money
Dear Society
If I want to pay a clown to do a dance for me while wearing a tu tu.. I will. Please dont tell me well you shop alot. I do, omg thanks for telling me that. Guess what all people spend their money on stuff. Some spend it on clothes, hookers, carwashes, sex, eletronics, kids stuff,beer and other drugs, need I go on. If I need to vent to you about money, just shut the fuck up and let me. Dont judge me,or I will gladly point out your money issues.
4. Being Loud
Dear Society,
Heres my motto:
I am loud, mouthy, then I cry. Dont tell me I cant be me. Did I offend thee? Sure hope I fucking did. You all do it too, the only difference is you do it behind your closed doors. Dont tell me I am loud, I was born loud and telling me makes me want to stab you with a fork.
5. Wheres your coat?
Dear Society,
My coat is at the store. I dont get cold and I dont wear jackets. I swear I get asked that 100x an hour. At first it wasnt annoying now I am like shut the fuck up. I dont need a coat, I am 37 I can tell if I am cold or not.
Jaded Diva is hungry and bitchy so read my top 5 and feel free to comment but please dont expect me to eleborate on who what when and where..
HAPPY READING BITCHES.......
I post on facebook my feelings and I swear the moment I hit publish the pope calls me and is like whats wrong. Society ,I want to scream....
So tonight is all about statements and questions that tick my ass the fuck off. Dont ask me to eleborate on here. You guys might have took over my freedom of crazy on fb but you wont on my blog. I mean it...
So sit back and listen to the things I despise and have the big bull balls to say while you just think it.....
1. Weather Panic
Dear Society,
If you live in Nebraka,Iowa,Colorado need I go on it FUCKING SNOWS AND SNOWS ALOT. No need to canel school, close early or miss work. I dont give a rats hairy ass if I dont drive, I still have am in a car and have to get their just like your high and mighty asses. No need to go to the store and bunker down just because Jim the fuck pussy flowers said it was going to snow. Also dont clog fb with panic that is not true. I love the ones where Chad and I are out in our Flinstone car and the world is like OMG I am stuck in my house, lord Jesus the end is near. Also if you are a guy and freak out , make sure your dick hasnt vanished and grow another one real quick.
2. Weight Talk
Dear Woman of Society,
Yes I know its ok for sloppy ponys, sweatshirts and desperate housewive attire at all times but being fat is against your religion. SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT OMG I gained 5 pounds and ate a mm I found on the floor I feel like shit and my clothes dont fit. I am fat and I love to eat. I dont want to listen to you whine one day that you are on a diet just to watch you eat a small child and drink a 6 pack the other day. I dont care how many calories cheese fries have and I would rather be fat than ever drink diet ande yes ladies I know I know, you like it better blah blah. This is my favorite weight talk of all time : I wear DH attire because at birth I weighed 8 pounds and now I am sad to say I weigh 100 at the age of 30. SHUT UP
3. Money
Dear Society
If I want to pay a clown to do a dance for me while wearing a tu tu.. I will. Please dont tell me well you shop alot. I do, omg thanks for telling me that. Guess what all people spend their money on stuff. Some spend it on clothes, hookers, carwashes, sex, eletronics, kids stuff,beer and other drugs, need I go on. If I need to vent to you about money, just shut the fuck up and let me. Dont judge me,or I will gladly point out your money issues.
4. Being Loud
Dear Society,
Heres my motto:
I am loud, mouthy, then I cry. Dont tell me I cant be me. Did I offend thee? Sure hope I fucking did. You all do it too, the only difference is you do it behind your closed doors. Dont tell me I am loud, I was born loud and telling me makes me want to stab you with a fork.
5. Wheres your coat?
Dear Society,
My coat is at the store. I dont get cold and I dont wear jackets. I swear I get asked that 100x an hour. At first it wasnt annoying now I am like shut the fuck up. I dont need a coat, I am 37 I can tell if I am cold or not.
Jaded Diva is hungry and bitchy so read my top 5 and feel free to comment but please dont expect me to eleborate on who what when and where..
HAPPY READING BITCHES.......
October 17, 2011
My Rags, your ritches, bitches
My ass like many Americans gets up each day and goes to work. Some of us leave our little ones in care of others to do this. I watched my dad go to work with brain cancer and I know they are more than just him that have to work why ill. So you can relate to my irritation about welfare bitches and hoes.
I understand aid needed at first. I was 18 unmarried and pregnant. I got help and medical for Tyler while pregnant. But guess what you fucking baby making tramps before my 6 weeks was even up I was working and promoted to office manager at Hobby Lobby and got off state aid forever. I didnt stay at home and get knocked up again so everyone elses hard tax dollars was spent for my 24 hour vagina baby making store.
My opinion, you can fuck,you can work. I dont need to get up daily so you can drive SUVS, have fake nails aned designer $100.00 jeans. I dont appreciate buying cheap wal mart stuff while you get 6 grand in food stamps , buy food then sell the other half to get stuff my working ass only dreams of having.
I am not against state aid, I understand it is needed in some circumstances. But no one out there even the ones abusing it are going tell me people dont get hooked on it and work the system. Why would these woman want to go out and get jobs when each month their rent is paid for, their food is bought and their medical bills are non-existent. They can then make their nail and hair appointments. They dont have to leave their kids with others and go work. They dont miss one darn moment of their kids life. They take our money and live quite the diva life to be honest.
Want to know what Jaded Diva would do if she was in charge? Heres my welfare plan in a nutshell....
1. You can get state aid for one unplanned pregnancy only.
2. During that time you and your unborn baby will get all the medical assitance needed. Nothing more, no money monthly, if you are still in high school maybe a few dollars a month but nothing fancy
3. Once the baby is born you will receive aid for the first 12 months, after that time to go job searching. I am ok with the child receiving free health insurance,lets face it we all should be granted free health care.
4. After a year your welfare expires, not questions asked, no complaints taken. Child may still receive health care until he turns of legal age.
5. Your dumb ass gets pregnant again, no way no how is the state helping.
If the government would follow those 5 steps the whole baby population would drop, trust me on that.
JD WORDS OF WISDOM: Ladies who are frequent welfare flyers aka use your vagina as a meal ticket and living off my tax paying dollars please read this statment below and chant it:
"BEFORE YOU LET HIM TAP IT, PLEASE MAKE HIM WRAP IT"
I understand aid needed at first. I was 18 unmarried and pregnant. I got help and medical for Tyler while pregnant. But guess what you fucking baby making tramps before my 6 weeks was even up I was working and promoted to office manager at Hobby Lobby and got off state aid forever. I didnt stay at home and get knocked up again so everyone elses hard tax dollars was spent for my 24 hour vagina baby making store.
My opinion, you can fuck,you can work. I dont need to get up daily so you can drive SUVS, have fake nails aned designer $100.00 jeans. I dont appreciate buying cheap wal mart stuff while you get 6 grand in food stamps , buy food then sell the other half to get stuff my working ass only dreams of having.
I am not against state aid, I understand it is needed in some circumstances. But no one out there even the ones abusing it are going tell me people dont get hooked on it and work the system. Why would these woman want to go out and get jobs when each month their rent is paid for, their food is bought and their medical bills are non-existent. They can then make their nail and hair appointments. They dont have to leave their kids with others and go work. They dont miss one darn moment of their kids life. They take our money and live quite the diva life to be honest.
Want to know what Jaded Diva would do if she was in charge? Heres my welfare plan in a nutshell....
1. You can get state aid for one unplanned pregnancy only.
2. During that time you and your unborn baby will get all the medical assitance needed. Nothing more, no money monthly, if you are still in high school maybe a few dollars a month but nothing fancy
3. Once the baby is born you will receive aid for the first 12 months, after that time to go job searching. I am ok with the child receiving free health insurance,lets face it we all should be granted free health care.
4. After a year your welfare expires, not questions asked, no complaints taken. Child may still receive health care until he turns of legal age.
5. Your dumb ass gets pregnant again, no way no how is the state helping.
If the government would follow those 5 steps the whole baby population would drop, trust me on that.
JD WORDS OF WISDOM: Ladies who are frequent welfare flyers aka use your vagina as a meal ticket and living off my tax paying dollars please read this statment below and chant it:
"BEFORE YOU LET HIM TAP IT, PLEASE MAKE HIM WRAP IT"
October 12, 2011
BREAK FROM SARCASM
Jaded D is on vacation and is having a blast.
She is on a sarcasm hiatus. :)
But dont worry I have seen plenty of stuff to confess about when my vacation is over!
She is on a sarcasm hiatus. :)
But dont worry I have seen plenty of stuff to confess about when my vacation is over!
October 6, 2011
The Opposite Sex
Sunday October 9th is my 7 year wedding annivesary. Or as my bff calls it , the seven year itch. LOL. Chad and I have been together for 14 years now. I truly did marry my lobster but boy oh boy men can be pickels at times.
Tonight I am going dish the dirt on mens top 10 annoying habits.
So grab your girlfriends and get ready to man bash :)
10. Asking for directions. Why is it so hard for men to stop and ask for directions. I mean once the words "Excuse me I think I am lost" are spoken does a little guy come out and punch them in there man jewels or take their balls away? Shit if I am lost help me the goose out I want to get there now not in 4 hours.
9. Hands down their pants? Ok please tell me why men do this? Are they afraid their car has gone on without them? Do all men do it? Do they speak of it amongst themselves? Hmm things I ponder LOL.
8. Obession with the remote. I swear you would think the remote would give men a car wash the way they need to hold onto it. Then once they have it they change the channels 900x a minute. Its either sports sports hunting or more sports. Dont get me started on the boring ass shows I am forced to watch.
7. Stories. Now when a woman tells me a story it has a beginning a middle and a end. Its funny and interesting and totally has a point. When a guy tells a story it has well no point, makes no sense and you just want them to finish it so you can go on with your life. You will alway walk away silenty scratching your head going wtf was that, a story, please more like a horrible after school special.
6. Farting. This is almost a game for guys. They see who can do it the loudest, the smelliest. They lift their legs, fart on their girls and do it without any shame. I mean hello guys poo stinks, nothing hot and sexy about it when you do it.
5. Video Games. Men of all ages are obsessed with video games. They make play dates to play together they sit outside game stores when a new one is released.
4. Hunting. I dont get this one and I am married to a hunter. Hunting is the other woman in our lives. I mean you have to get up at like 4am you then have to walk 100 miles just to sit in a treestand for 8 hours where you just might see one animal the whole time. Sometimes its snowing and raining. No thanks not my idea of fun.
3. Guys like dumb stuff to you ever notice, they like big dumb trucks with tires so high you need a cannon to shoot your ass into the seat. They like to drive like ass sharks in snowy weather and get a kick out of the truck when it spins around. They love to hang out with their boys and coming home at 3am is really not a big deal to them.
2. Boobs. Man you think once you seen a pair of boobs you seen them all. They all basically look the same, some are tiny some are normal and some are huge. At times when a man sees a rack they like all their common sense and manners go out the door. There eyes remind me of those old school cartoon characters, that zoom in and out in like aww. Men are so visual and love boobs butts and garages.
DRUM ROLL PLEASE... THE MOST ANNOYING THING TO ME ABOUT A MAN IS..
1. Guys are such drama queens when sick. Can I get a Amen please? Us woman have periods babies and much more but a man gets a sniffle and shit call 911 because he has the plague. No one has ever been sick when a man is sick. Its like the whole world has come to an end. Give him a nip and some nyquil and please hope he takes his ass to bed.
JD words of wisdom. Men are some hard to figure out creatures but they are sexy as hell and this diva is glad for them annoying asses and all.
Tonight I am going dish the dirt on mens top 10 annoying habits.
So grab your girlfriends and get ready to man bash :)
10. Asking for directions. Why is it so hard for men to stop and ask for directions. I mean once the words "Excuse me I think I am lost" are spoken does a little guy come out and punch them in there man jewels or take their balls away? Shit if I am lost help me the goose out I want to get there now not in 4 hours.
9. Hands down their pants? Ok please tell me why men do this? Are they afraid their car has gone on without them? Do all men do it? Do they speak of it amongst themselves? Hmm things I ponder LOL.
8. Obession with the remote. I swear you would think the remote would give men a car wash the way they need to hold onto it. Then once they have it they change the channels 900x a minute. Its either sports sports hunting or more sports. Dont get me started on the boring ass shows I am forced to watch.
7. Stories. Now when a woman tells me a story it has a beginning a middle and a end. Its funny and interesting and totally has a point. When a guy tells a story it has well no point, makes no sense and you just want them to finish it so you can go on with your life. You will alway walk away silenty scratching your head going wtf was that, a story, please more like a horrible after school special.
6. Farting. This is almost a game for guys. They see who can do it the loudest, the smelliest. They lift their legs, fart on their girls and do it without any shame. I mean hello guys poo stinks, nothing hot and sexy about it when you do it.
5. Video Games. Men of all ages are obsessed with video games. They make play dates to play together they sit outside game stores when a new one is released.
4. Hunting. I dont get this one and I am married to a hunter. Hunting is the other woman in our lives. I mean you have to get up at like 4am you then have to walk 100 miles just to sit in a treestand for 8 hours where you just might see one animal the whole time. Sometimes its snowing and raining. No thanks not my idea of fun.
3. Guys like dumb stuff to you ever notice, they like big dumb trucks with tires so high you need a cannon to shoot your ass into the seat. They like to drive like ass sharks in snowy weather and get a kick out of the truck when it spins around. They love to hang out with their boys and coming home at 3am is really not a big deal to them.
2. Boobs. Man you think once you seen a pair of boobs you seen them all. They all basically look the same, some are tiny some are normal and some are huge. At times when a man sees a rack they like all their common sense and manners go out the door. There eyes remind me of those old school cartoon characters, that zoom in and out in like aww. Men are so visual and love boobs butts and garages.
DRUM ROLL PLEASE... THE MOST ANNOYING THING TO ME ABOUT A MAN IS..
1. Guys are such drama queens when sick. Can I get a Amen please? Us woman have periods babies and much more but a man gets a sniffle and shit call 911 because he has the plague. No one has ever been sick when a man is sick. Its like the whole world has come to an end. Give him a nip and some nyquil and please hope he takes his ass to bed.
JD words of wisdom. Men are some hard to figure out creatures but they are sexy as hell and this diva is glad for them annoying asses and all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)