Reality Bites

I have a love/hate ship with reality shows. Most I dont watch and some are just downrigth stupid. Like any of the bachelor shows are a NO NO, find true love in 60 days or less. Player please, more like find somebody to fuck. Dont get me wrong I have a few I watch and my biggest guilty pleasure is BAD GIRLS CLUB. My gosh those bitches be wild and bitchy and mean and I love each minute of it.

I also watch almost all the MTV reality shows. Which brings me to my topic tonight. Those damn original teen moms. I swear either my 37 year old ass is too old or those bitches need some fucking good old ass kicking from Jaded D herself. So jaded diva is going break each girl down and let you know what happes when my ninja ass gets real. Oh and my ass is saving the girl that needs her ass whooped the most for last. Stay tuned you might be shocked at who it is.

Catelynn and Tyler: Now for the most part I like these kids. Now their fucking redneck ugly trash parents are another story. How this kids turned out normal and not fucking ugly as hell I am not sure. But they are good kids. A tad annoying and immature at times but hey what teenager isnt. They made a very mature hard life changing decision and I respect them for that. These guys get a A in my book no ass kicking needed.

Farrah: Oh boy where do I start. Member her ass the first season after Sophia was born? Um can we say worst teen mom ever? I used to watch and want to knock her ass out. When her mom did I was jealous. She is a spoiled fucking brat who talks to her parents like they are dirt beneath her. I also think she is vain and has no reason to be. Yeah shes thin and got a boob job but hey there is no procedure yet to fix ugly. Oh and Farrah Sephora called, they want their make up back so lay off the foundation. Man that annoys me girls use a mirror duh. Moving forward, we saw Farrah leave her baby in a strange new apartment hallway and in the sink with water,alone . Now I will admit shes a better mom. But shes still a spoiled brat and still ugly and the way she talks to her parents. Lets just say if I was her mom she would be black and blue daily.  Now I will give her some credit. She did lose someone and that is hard and she is also in therapy but come on Farrah grow up. She gets a C- and needs a ass kicking monthly.

Amber: Um neeed I say more. The moment her ass hit the MTV screen I swear the song Crazy Train would play. Man that girl is fucked up side down and backyards. And add sloppy Gary to the mix. Yeah CHOO CHOO all aboard. She since day one has been the laziest mom yet. Her and garys ship is so toxic it should come with a warning label.  Also in like the first 2 seasons did Amber do anything but sit or lay in bed. I swear you have a baby you dumb bitch take care of it. Also her and Gary have no buisness being together. I know they want that family for Leah but that girl is going need help later if they stay together. Oh and fat or skinny how does Amber get all the guys. I mean the guys arent cute and I bet are going be in prison soon but damn she has some men. I bet she gives a mean ass carwash. I blame her mom. Her mom seeems so lame and not a good parent. What Amber needs is some tough love from here mom and or Dad. Get her ass in therapy and get her some help. Also back to this HTF does Gary get all these girls. I like me some big men but he makes me itchy and want to grab some hand sanitzer. Eww I am silently puking in my mouth thinking about him.  Amber gets a D and needs her ass kicked weekly.

Well well that leads me to my least favorite teen mom....

Maci: Man where do I begin. When I first met Maci oh I liked her. She was with holy hotty Ryan and she was a good mom to Bentley. She was by far the best mom. She seemed to be the one that I thought had it going on. Well lets fast forward to when cowardly lion aka UGLY ASS Kyle came into the picture. My gosh what is wrong with him he is so dorky and ugly. How can you go from kissing fine ass Ryan to him? Once she started getting serious with ugly she changed. She is lazy now and she went from the best mom to an OK mom. She neeeds to either work or go to school. So does ugly. I mean they both just sit around all day playing toy story.  She also neeeds to stop bad mouthing Ryan around Bentley and she also needs to realize ugly isnt his dad. The othere day when I heard her say she wanted a baby with ugly I freaked. Um no more babies GET J-O-B-S.  I was working 6 weeks after I was a teen mom and I am still working till this day. I am disappointed in Maci. I also secretly wish she would dump ugly. He is wishy washy. One day hes like I cant handle this you guys are smothering me, the next day hes like let me quit my job and move in and lets play toy story all day. LOSERS. Maci gets a big F and is the worst mom on the show now and needs her ass kicked daily.

JD Words of Wisdom: If you currently dont watch reality shows dont start. Becaues if you do you will become a 37 year old bitter ass woman blogging about them on a Thursday night. LOL :)